the story about a man trying to rescue birds at christmas

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. Your office Christmas party is a perfect platform to gather blackmail material. Let’s hope Santa won’t get killed using Apple Maps this Christmas.Ĭhristmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.ĭear Santa, for Christmas please send me your list of bad boys and their phone numbers.Ĭhristmas is a state of mind and that special feeling that only comes with an empty bank account.

I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. If you can’t wrap Christmas presents well, at least make it look like they put up a good fight.ĭuring Christmas you buy gifts with the next year’s money. Let’s hope all your regifting will go undetected this year Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.Ĭhristmas is the biggest E-greeting Day in the year.ĭo you know why so many people love Jesus? Without Jesus, no Christmas. My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.Īren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day – the birth of Santa? I asked Santa for a sexiest person on earth and next morning I woke up in a box. I stopped believing in Santa Claus at the age of 5 when my mom tried to make me believe that he lives in a toy shop! Yeah, we too are thinking if Santa will elect to problem combating this.įor Christmas this year I will be making a donation in your name into my bank account. That’s the true spirit of Christmas people being helped by people other than me.Ĭhristmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard. Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.Ĭhristmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew’s Birthday. I’ve seen you Facebook status updates, you’ll get a dictionary for Christmas. He who has now not Christmas in his heart will on no account find it beneath a tree. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.īeing a Secret Santa is actually the only office secret that you’ve ever kept.Ĭhristmas is a time while you get homesick – even when you’re home. Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. How is the Italian version of Christmas different? One Jesus, one Mary, and 33 wise guys. Only an accountant understands the real meaning of Christmas.Īll I want for Christmas is my two front teeth. Below is a list of 65 Cool Funny Christmas Sayings | Short funny Christmas Sayings to keep you Laughing until the new year.

The story about a man trying to rescue birds at christmas